Modesty seems to be lost art today. I have to admit I know little about it. I definitely did NOT practice modesty in my teens. In my 20's then again when I learned I was pregnant with a little girl, it became important to me.
Let's start with a simple dictionary definition.
1. the state or quality of being modest
2. reserve or propriety in speech, dress, or behavior
3. lack of pretentiousness, simplicity
That helps a bit but still guidelines for modesty do change with fashion.
But lets start with something that has been lost, completely lost. And that is that modesty is NOT a bad thing. Fashion and modesty are NOT separate ideas. And there are not detailed rules of dress, if you find detailed rules somewhere just run the other way. Legalism is NOT the way to go on this subject.
But your father and I expect you to find a modest style of dress and behavior that allows you to live in this world, fits your personality, and still preserves your dignity. So how do you do that?
One, ask us what is appropriate. Until you are an adult and on your own, well let's just say that unlike the other teens who went to the prom in cleavage bearing dresses, you will not be doing that.
Even as an adult being sexy is just not the way to dress. And I'm still trying to figure out when sexy and beautiful where lumped in together. Despite modern feminism women who dress in a provocative manner, and act that way, are still viewed as sexually easy. So if you're not an easy mark for sex why would you dress like you are.
And I won't speak for anyone else here, but I have never thought that sexy was beautiful or elegant!
But modest dress and behavior can be beautiful and elegant, and timeless.
I will add that modesty is about a strong sense of self and self respect. You can know you are sexy but a good sense of modesty says "I'm too valuable to be shared with every Tom, Dick, or Harry who can get a good look."
So my dear daughter be beautiful, be elegant, and be modest.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Leaves
Leaves falling in a park
Couples getting to know each other
Young families with tiny infants
Toddlers exploring the world
Fishing men
Gold
Red
Brown
The prettiest leaves fall in the pond
Couples getting to know each other
Young families with tiny infants
Toddlers exploring the world
Fishing men
Gold
Red
Brown
The prettiest leaves fall in the pond
Saturday, September 12, 2009
We all give up something
I have always acknowledged that as a stay at home wife and mother, I am giving up something in the way of an outside the home career.
Mostly more money. Nicer house perhaps. A nicer car. Definitely nicer clothes. The "fulfillment" of a personal career. I KNOW that I'm giving these things up. I KNOW it. And I realize it.
A recent poll asked moms who work outside the home if there was any difference to the child if the mom worked outside the home or stayed at home. The said, "NO, no difference to the child." Which was different from ten years ago when the same working moms said that children were better off if mom was at home.
This makes me so angry I can barely write about it.
What this comes down to is that moms who work outside home feel that it has no effect on their family. It also means they feel that they ARE NOT giving up anything in their pursuit of a career outside the home.
I have heard numerous women who choose to work tell me they "have it all". The children are better off because mommy has a satisfying life in her outside career. And day care is good for little ones!
GRRRRRRRRRR
At the same time sometimes from the same women I have been told, "Wow, how can you stay home all day? I can't believe you gave up a career? Do you realize what you are missing out on? How can you not work?"
So I'm giving something up and they aren't?????
Well they ARE and they just don't know it, or don't want to face it. I don't know which one is true.
A better bond with their children and even their husband. Greater connections to the community, though I admit this is harder because so few women stay at home. The "fulfillment" of creating a loving sanctuary for your family. The pride of knowing this is mine and I created this, home.
I could go on and on. But I have two points. I work, hard, long, and for no traditional form of pay. And I know what I've given up! These women who think they have it all, and I don't, those who have chosen to work outside their home, do they know what they are giving up?
Or do they just want to pretend that the children and hubby are better off because they are happy. Would they be happy if their spouse worked 12 or 14 hour days all the time as long as the spouse was happy. Or would they complain about lack of family time?????
I know of single moms and married ones who really MUST work to provide the basics for their families. Talk to them, they know EXACTLY what they've given up. I've known more than a few single moms who truly get angry over married moms who work outside the home simply because they want to. I know single moms who work over night to be there at day time for their children, getting very little sleep in the process. Only to watch married moms, who don't NEED to work, go off and dump the kids in day care, talk to them. Ask them if they would be at home if they really could. You may be surprised at the answer.
Mostly more money. Nicer house perhaps. A nicer car. Definitely nicer clothes. The "fulfillment" of a personal career. I KNOW that I'm giving these things up. I KNOW it. And I realize it.
A recent poll asked moms who work outside the home if there was any difference to the child if the mom worked outside the home or stayed at home. The said, "NO, no difference to the child." Which was different from ten years ago when the same working moms said that children were better off if mom was at home.
This makes me so angry I can barely write about it.
What this comes down to is that moms who work outside home feel that it has no effect on their family. It also means they feel that they ARE NOT giving up anything in their pursuit of a career outside the home.
I have heard numerous women who choose to work tell me they "have it all". The children are better off because mommy has a satisfying life in her outside career. And day care is good for little ones!
GRRRRRRRRRR
At the same time sometimes from the same women I have been told, "Wow, how can you stay home all day? I can't believe you gave up a career? Do you realize what you are missing out on? How can you not work?"
So I'm giving something up and they aren't?????
Well they ARE and they just don't know it, or don't want to face it. I don't know which one is true.
A better bond with their children and even their husband. Greater connections to the community, though I admit this is harder because so few women stay at home. The "fulfillment" of creating a loving sanctuary for your family. The pride of knowing this is mine and I created this, home.
I could go on and on. But I have two points. I work, hard, long, and for no traditional form of pay. And I know what I've given up! These women who think they have it all, and I don't, those who have chosen to work outside their home, do they know what they are giving up?
Or do they just want to pretend that the children and hubby are better off because they are happy. Would they be happy if their spouse worked 12 or 14 hour days all the time as long as the spouse was happy. Or would they complain about lack of family time?????
I know of single moms and married ones who really MUST work to provide the basics for their families. Talk to them, they know EXACTLY what they've given up. I've known more than a few single moms who truly get angry over married moms who work outside the home simply because they want to. I know single moms who work over night to be there at day time for their children, getting very little sleep in the process. Only to watch married moms, who don't NEED to work, go off and dump the kids in day care, talk to them. Ask them if they would be at home if they really could. You may be surprised at the answer.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Just
Just a waitress.
Just a janitor.
Just a teacher.
Just a homemaker.
Just a stay at home mom.
The "just" placed before any profession is one of the worst things modern society has done.
God views us as his children, loved and important. No matter where he places us. In an operating room, cleaning a toilet, or changing a diaper, He views us the same and can use us anywhere.
It is our society that has placed the word "just" in from of previously respected professions. Nothing wrong with being a doctor or lawyer. But there is nothing wrong with being a waitress, janitor, or homemaker if that is where you are content and feel God has led you there.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."
An old saying that is still true. It was that attitude that was prevalent several generations ago. When the modern feminist movement started telling women that they needed to stop being "just" a homemaker and become "career" women, it was slow at first. Women didn't swallow that line, at first. They knew how important their career was for the family. Ultimately women came to believe they were "just" homemakers and left the home to get a "career".
The casualty - the world. Babies and children used to always be raised by a loving mother, and father. Now as early as six weeks babies are placed in day care and into the hands of "trained professionals."
Not that I blame day care workers. God bless them for loving and caring for someone else's baby as best they can.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."
A few generations have been raised by "professionals" and our society suffers for it. Children are disconnected from their parents and any other human being.
The trained professionals are wonderful people - good educators. But there is one thing they cannot replicate. A mother's love, the bond, the caring, and the soul of a mother.
If you choose to be a homemaker then you need to know you are NEVER "just" anything.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."
Who do you want to rule your world??????
Just a janitor.
Just a teacher.
Just a homemaker.
Just a stay at home mom.
The "just" placed before any profession is one of the worst things modern society has done.
God views us as his children, loved and important. No matter where he places us. In an operating room, cleaning a toilet, or changing a diaper, He views us the same and can use us anywhere.
It is our society that has placed the word "just" in from of previously respected professions. Nothing wrong with being a doctor or lawyer. But there is nothing wrong with being a waitress, janitor, or homemaker if that is where you are content and feel God has led you there.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."
An old saying that is still true. It was that attitude that was prevalent several generations ago. When the modern feminist movement started telling women that they needed to stop being "just" a homemaker and become "career" women, it was slow at first. Women didn't swallow that line, at first. They knew how important their career was for the family. Ultimately women came to believe they were "just" homemakers and left the home to get a "career".
The casualty - the world. Babies and children used to always be raised by a loving mother, and father. Now as early as six weeks babies are placed in day care and into the hands of "trained professionals."
Not that I blame day care workers. God bless them for loving and caring for someone else's baby as best they can.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."
A few generations have been raised by "professionals" and our society suffers for it. Children are disconnected from their parents and any other human being.
The trained professionals are wonderful people - good educators. But there is one thing they cannot replicate. A mother's love, the bond, the caring, and the soul of a mother.
If you choose to be a homemaker then you need to know you are NEVER "just" anything.
"The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world."
Who do you want to rule your world??????
Saturday, August 1, 2009
You can make a DIFFERENCE
A recent poll was announced on the radio. It polled women who worked outside the home and asked them if there was a difference for children if the mother stayed home full time or worked outside the home full time. Answer: "No difference to the child."
This is absurd! Recent studies have shown that the earlier a child goes into daycare the higher the aggressiveness they display later.
I don't care what anyone tells you. No one can care for your child like you, or your husband. AND it makes a DIFFERENCE to the child.
I worked as a babysitter and nanny for a few years. I used to call those kids "my kiddos". I did love them deeply but it was and is NOTHING to how I LOVE you.
Some will say its about early education. A child "needs" a professional teacher to get a jump on learning. Also absurd.
You don't need to be a trained educator to teach your child to read or do basic math. (Many people are shocked you somewhat understand fractions, as in one half, but that's because you bake with me and know exactly what one half of something is.)
What the first three to four years are really about is bonding to one or two people, ONLY! So a child put in daycare at six weeks old never bonds with mom and dad. Maybe they bond with a teacher, who may change every year. No wonder they get aggressive. A child will bond with someone, make sure it's YOU!
As a woman you can have any career you like, but with freedom always comes responsibility.
Responsibility to family always comes before a career. Children do not ask to be born into this world. By accident or planned a child DESERVES to have the first years of their lives spent in the loving care of mom and dad.
You can have your career at 80 but you can't have or raise babies.
This is absurd! Recent studies have shown that the earlier a child goes into daycare the higher the aggressiveness they display later.
I don't care what anyone tells you. No one can care for your child like you, or your husband. AND it makes a DIFFERENCE to the child.
I worked as a babysitter and nanny for a few years. I used to call those kids "my kiddos". I did love them deeply but it was and is NOTHING to how I LOVE you.
Some will say its about early education. A child "needs" a professional teacher to get a jump on learning. Also absurd.
You don't need to be a trained educator to teach your child to read or do basic math. (Many people are shocked you somewhat understand fractions, as in one half, but that's because you bake with me and know exactly what one half of something is.)
What the first three to four years are really about is bonding to one or two people, ONLY! So a child put in daycare at six weeks old never bonds with mom and dad. Maybe they bond with a teacher, who may change every year. No wonder they get aggressive. A child will bond with someone, make sure it's YOU!
As a woman you can have any career you like, but with freedom always comes responsibility.
Responsibility to family always comes before a career. Children do not ask to be born into this world. By accident or planned a child DESERVES to have the first years of their lives spent in the loving care of mom and dad.
You can have your career at 80 but you can't have or raise babies.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Marriage doesn't matter anymore
Today a lot of people skip marriage and just live together saying that marriage is just a piece of paper and the paper means nothing.
Well honestly I have to agree. The piece of paper you get from the state means nothing.
So does marriage matter?
Of course, it matters the world.
A lifetime commitment of two people to love and care for each other is a cornerstone of society. Marriage is NOT a piece of paper. It is a ceremony before GOD, family, and friends. That piece of paper from the state can be easily broken by a completely legal divorce.
Vows made before GOD, are not so easily broken. Even if family and friends no longer hold us to our vows, like they used to, GOD still expects us to live up to our vows.
(There are only rare occasions that God permits divorce.)
Before you ever consent to marry a man, be sure he has a solid Biblical view of marriage.
There is a comfort and safety for both sides of a marriage if they know that divorce is not an option.
If a man knows he is committing to a lifetime of protecting, providing, and loving one woman, there is safety and security for you and your children. You will KNOW that he will always be there to care for you, provide a life for you, and love you.
If you know that you are committing to a lifetime of respecting, supporting, and loving one man, then he has a safety and security as well. A man can know that this woman has his back, will be there when he gets home, and will always love him no matter what the world may think of him.
If wise choices are made, both people know that the other is committed to them. Love changes but grows. A safe haven in this rough world is created, for the couple and their children.
Marriage is not a piece of paper. It is a vow before God. And God intends it to be for a lifetime.
Well honestly I have to agree. The piece of paper you get from the state means nothing.
So does marriage matter?
Of course, it matters the world.
A lifetime commitment of two people to love and care for each other is a cornerstone of society. Marriage is NOT a piece of paper. It is a ceremony before GOD, family, and friends. That piece of paper from the state can be easily broken by a completely legal divorce.
Vows made before GOD, are not so easily broken. Even if family and friends no longer hold us to our vows, like they used to, GOD still expects us to live up to our vows.
(There are only rare occasions that God permits divorce.)
Before you ever consent to marry a man, be sure he has a solid Biblical view of marriage.
There is a comfort and safety for both sides of a marriage if they know that divorce is not an option.
If a man knows he is committing to a lifetime of protecting, providing, and loving one woman, there is safety and security for you and your children. You will KNOW that he will always be there to care for you, provide a life for you, and love you.
If you know that you are committing to a lifetime of respecting, supporting, and loving one man, then he has a safety and security as well. A man can know that this woman has his back, will be there when he gets home, and will always love him no matter what the world may think of him.
If wise choices are made, both people know that the other is committed to them. Love changes but grows. A safe haven in this rough world is created, for the couple and their children.
Marriage is not a piece of paper. It is a vow before God. And God intends it to be for a lifetime.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
The World just Keeps Turning and Turning
My dearest daughter the world is a wheel. Humankind never seems to learn it's lesson so round and round it goes, repeating past mistakes over and over again.
The world you were born into is a world I did not want for you. So why did I have a child, you may ask. Well you don't have children only when the world is perfect. If that were true then humankind would have died out after Adam and Eve. You have children because you love your spouse and want to share your lives with children, you're own children.
I also believe there is still good in this world. God has not, will never, abandon his creation. God has a plan for all of his children.
He has a plan for you!
I grew up thinking God had abandoned me to my abusive mother. Now I know God protected me through the worst of those days. All so that I could learn from my mother's horrible mistakes and behavior and ultimately break a long chain of abuse.
My reward is this life. My heart's desire was a good Godly man to love, and a child or children. God has granted my greatest desire.
Seeing you live the life I could never have is kind of an odd balance of the scales. My childhood will never be anything other than it was, but God has given me the chance to do things "right" so to speak.
So for me, where I've come from and what I lived through, seeing the world as dark as it is doesn't affect me as it does others. I KNOW God is here in the middle of the darkest of times, guiding those willing to be led. He has a plan. Remember that out of the darkest nights God will create, if you allow him to, a glorious dawn.
The world you were born into is a world I did not want for you. So why did I have a child, you may ask. Well you don't have children only when the world is perfect. If that were true then humankind would have died out after Adam and Eve. You have children because you love your spouse and want to share your lives with children, you're own children.
I also believe there is still good in this world. God has not, will never, abandon his creation. God has a plan for all of his children.
He has a plan for you!
I grew up thinking God had abandoned me to my abusive mother. Now I know God protected me through the worst of those days. All so that I could learn from my mother's horrible mistakes and behavior and ultimately break a long chain of abuse.
My reward is this life. My heart's desire was a good Godly man to love, and a child or children. God has granted my greatest desire.
Seeing you live the life I could never have is kind of an odd balance of the scales. My childhood will never be anything other than it was, but God has given me the chance to do things "right" so to speak.
So for me, where I've come from and what I lived through, seeing the world as dark as it is doesn't affect me as it does others. I KNOW God is here in the middle of the darkest of times, guiding those willing to be led. He has a plan. Remember that out of the darkest nights God will create, if you allow him to, a glorious dawn.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
